Resource Spotlight: “Raising Boys & Girls” with Sissy Goff and David Thomas
A resource I am constantly learning from and sharing with others is the Raising Boys & Girls podcast, hosted by Sissy Goff and David Thomas. Sissy and David are licensed counselors working with children and families at Daystar Counseling Ministries in Nashville, Tennessee. The podcast incorporates their daily work as counselors in an effort to provide support to caregivers throughout the journey of parenthood. Sissy and David share, "Our goal is to help you care for the kids in your life with a little more understanding, a little more practical help, and a whole lot of hope."
Welcome to the Raising Boys & Girls podcast!
In each episode, we’ll share some of what we’re learning in the work we do with kids and families on a daily basis at Daystar Counseling Ministries. Our goal is to help you care for the kids in your life with a little more understanding, a little more practical help, and a whole lot of hope.
New Season: “Are My Kids on Track?!”
The Raising Boys & Girls podcast recently began a new season called "Are My Kids on Track?!" This season of the podcast is based on the four emotional, four social, and four spiritual milestones Sissy and David believe kids most need to reach. These milestones are deeply explored in the book Are My Kids on Track? The 12 Emotional Social and Spiritual Milestones Your Child Needs to Reach, written by Sissy, David, and Melissa Trevathan. The emotional milestones include emotional vocabulary, perspective, empathy, and resourcefulness. The social milestones include awareness, reciprocity, ownership, and boundaries. The spiritual milestones include foundation, identity, mercy, and meaning.
Over the past couple of months, the Raising Boys & Girls podcast has been releasing episodes related to the first two emotional milestones, emotional vocabulary and perspective. One of my favorite recent episodes was Episode 206: “Practical Tools for Building an Emotional Vocabulary." In this episode, Sissy and David discuss building emotional vocabulary with two additional counselors at Daystar Counseling, Jenny Tang and Kenneth Littleton. Included below are practical tips for assisting children and teenagers with reaching this important milestone. Jenny and Kenneth also share their opinions of what children and teenagers need most from caregivers as well as some general encouragement.
Practical ways caregivers can help strengthen emotional vocabulary:
Assist your child with moving their body when stuck in an emotion (ex. going for a walk, joining for a trip to the grocery, gardening together, etc.)
Model emotions for your child by naming and explaining feelings, providing age-appropriate context that allows exposure to helpful emotional language
Uncover underlying emotions by processing the "why" and the "need" behind your child's feelings, as children and teenagers are often operating only out of a few dominant emotions
Explore the connection your child is experiencing between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, empowering your child to implement a "shortstop" to increase self-regulation
Approach your emotionally dysregulated child with curiosity and vulnerability, leading with empathy in order to disarm
Encourage your child to rate his or her emotions based on intensity level and a deeper variety of feeling words, which will lead to the creation of a shared emotional language within the family
What kids need most from caregivers:
Your child benefits from knowing you are in the emotion with him or her, but you are also the voice of truth
Your child will be more receptive if he or she feels understood first, highlighting the importance of fostering connection before correction
Encouragement for caregivers:
Your child's struggle is not a reflection of your worth as a parent, and it's not a reflection of how hard you're trying
Aim for "good enough"
